W is for Weather
‘Bring your togs‘ says she – ‘its lovely in South Carolina at this time of year… nothing heavy – maybe something for the evenings‘. A few days before we travel…. ‘We’re having some kind of weather episode – you’ll need warm clothes… bring layers… and a raincoat… and scarf and gloves…. sorry’. Ah! Well that’s more like it isn’t it.
No real surprise – my travels always been dogged by bad weather. I don’t complain (much) with minus temperatures at new year. I can handle flight cancellations due to snowstorms and boat cancellations due to hurricanes. I cover up for sandstorms and stop driving in heavy fog. But rain!! It always finds me! I expect rain in the tropics – or Europe. But Morocco, Oman, Arizona (in their driest seasons!) – now that’s not fair.
Like half the country (and possible the planet) I’m using my social distancing time to declutter. Clearing shelves yesterday, I came across my old Douglas Adams books – and that was it – my EUREKA moment! I know why it always rains on me!
Meet Rob McKenna. He’s a truck driver and it ALWAYS rains on him. He has identified 231 types of rainfall e.g. 33 =light pricking drizzle which made the road slippery, 100 = post-downpour squalling, cold, 17 = a dirty blatter battering against the windscreen so hard that it doesn’t matter whether the wipers are on or off…. He is always miserable and has lousy holidays.
BUT the reason its always raining is that he is in fact a Rain God and the clouds follow him around in adoration!
So that’s it – I’m a Rain Goddess!!!
Rob ends up making a lucrative career out of it – getting paid to stay away from the holiday resorts and paid to visit drought stricken areas!
So I’m open to all offers!!
(Superheros! – San Sebastian, September 2017)